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misdreya

Melissa
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Even with the extension on our lease, we will have to clear out by june 31. And that's not TOO much of a problem, since we're actively in the active process of actively looking for an (active) house.

Action!

It's a lot harder than you might think, just like all the other things that have happened to me in the last few years. For example, when Russ asked me to marry him I figured, "Hey, cool! That sounds simple! What could go wrong?"
I went from that to almost in tears at the reception because we couldn't find the garter belt to do the belt ceremony thing, and my best friend almost punching one of the restaurants managers because they wouldn't let me take off my shoes inside.
So yeah. Same thing with the baby. Having a baby sounds simple, doesn't it? Conception then birth. Some oogey, lovey moments in between.
But no. I have to take special vitamins and get 32 vials of blood drawn and strange male doctors put there hands up my hoo hoo all the time. -_-; Dammit.
As for house, we found out we'd need a good couple tens of thousands of dollars just for a down payment, income check, closing costs and fees. So we have to apply for a loan from the government. that means going to workshops and counseling sessions..
Why can't things be ever be simple as an adult? That was the only reason I agreed to grow up; I figured it would get easier as I got older.

heh.

p.s,

I just met an old friend again for the first time in years and we've been talking. That's cool, but I hope she wasn't freaked out by all the gay sex in my favorites! Oh yeah baby. ^_^
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Taken from :*NineInjections:'s journal!

Info
[ ] I am shorter than 5'4.
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[x] I have many scars.
[ ] I tan easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[x] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[ ]I have/I've had braces.
[x] I wear glasses.
[x] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. (only for drastic weight loss though.)
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have more than 2 piercing.
[ ] I have piercing in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.

Family/Home Life
[x] I've sworn at my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday. (I'm actually pregnant right now!)
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.

School/Work
[x] I'm in school.
[x] I have a job.
[ ] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[ ] I almost always do my homework.
[x] I've missed a week or more of school.
[ ] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[x] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[x] I've stolen something from my job.
[x] I've been fired.

Embarrassment
[x] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation. (On purpose lol!)
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[x] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[x] I've glued my hand to something. (to my other hand!)
[x] I've had my pants rip in public.

Health
[x] I was born with a disease/impairment. (eyesight, asthma)
[x] I've gotten stitches/staples. (on my face!)
[x] I've broken a bone. (my right foot)
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[x] I've sat in a doctor's office/emergency room with a friend.
[x] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.

Traveling
[x] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I've been on a plane.
[ ] I've been to Canada.
[ ] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.
[x] I've been to Disney World. (I added this one!)

Experiences
[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[ ] I've seen a shooting star.
[ ] I've wished on a shooting star
[ ] I've seen a meteor shower.
[ ] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[x] I've kicked a guy where it hurts. no but I should have done this....
[ ] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[x] I've gone skinny dipping.
[ ] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[x] I've crashed a car.
[ ] I've been Skiing.
[ ] I've been in a play.
[x] I've met someone in person from myspace.
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern lights.
[ ] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[ ] I've played chicken.
[ ] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[x] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[X] I've eaten sushi.
[ ] I've been snowboarding.

Relationships
[ ] I'm single.
[ ] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[x] I'm married.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[x] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper. I don't know what this word means ^^;
[x] I miss someone right now.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[x] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[x] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[ ] I've kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality
[x] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[ ] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[x] I have kissed a stranger. Alcohol is bad è_é (I second that!)

Honesty/Crime
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't. omg so many times....
[x] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[x] I've run a red light.
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[x] I've witnessed a crime.
[ ] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.

Drugs/Alcohol
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink.
[x] I've passed out from drinking.
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[x] I've smoked weed
[x] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[x] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I've done hard drugs.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[x] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[x] I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
[ ] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[ ] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[x] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[x] I've woken up crying.

Death and Suicide
[x] I'm afraid of dying.
[ ] I hate funerals.
[x] I've seen someone dying.
[ ] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[ ] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[x] I've planned my own suicide.
[ ] I've attempted suicide. (Not really...)
[x] I've written a eulogy for myself.

Materialism
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[x] I own something from Hot Topic.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[ ] I own something from The Gap.
[x] I own something I got on e-bay.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.

Random
[x] I can sing well. (only with certain songs)
[x] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[x] I open up to others easily.
[ ] I watch the news.
[ ] I don't kill bugs. (I SLAY bugs...)
[ ] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[ ] I curse regularly.
[x] I sing in the shower. ( I hum)
[ ] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone. I havent any cell phone XD
[x] I'm a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[x] I twirl my hair.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[ ] I love being neat.
[x] I love Spam (It's the other white meat!)
[ ] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day
[ ] I bake well. (I know how to set my stove on fire...)
[ ] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue
[x] I've worn pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[ ] I know how to shoot a gun.
[x] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes. (If they weren't funny, I wouldn't tell them!)
[x] I eat fast food weekly.
[ ] I believe in ghosts.
[ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[x] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[x] I love white chocolate
[x] I bite my nails.
[x] I play video games.
[ ] I'm good at remembering faces.
[ ] I'm good at remembering names.
[x] I'm good at remembering dates.
[ ] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

[x] All of those are answered honestly

So, If anyone drops by my journal and has the patience to take this, feel free to copy it into your own.
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I don't "get off" to gay porn, to pictures of guys kissing, to stories and fanfiction about gay pairings.

My friend Katie bought me a book called something like, "The mammoth book of gay erotica." Sounds like one of those books you lay down and hold up with one hand and turn the pages with the thumb of the same, right? Well...I didn't use it as such. I've read a few of the stories, but I've found I don't like any of them. They're all about sex, and very few have any real emotion or tenderness or... I don't know how to explain it.
I've found that I don't like gay "sex" at all. I like implied sex. I like men making out mostly clothed. I like reading about the apprehension and fright before that first touch... not so much the lust and passion of an established relationship.
My latest favorite is a photo by a guy who calls himself "pickledcum". Along with the charming username, he has an equally charming collection of photos featuring him and various other guys. But none of it is very porn-like, it's all very softcore. The favorited photo is of him and his boyfriend Matthew in the bath together. Now you can tell they're both naked. You can tell that photo might have led to sex. But you can't see anything past their backs and their legs. They're entwined in such an intimate pose, just gently holding eachother. They just look relieved to be together... I love it so much, I can't stop looking at it.
But if I had caught a glimpse of penis, I would have been completely turned off and would have passed over it altogether.

But yeah. I don't get all hot over those gay movies you can get from the porn store, or those gay books, or even sometimes NC-17 rated fanfiction. Because it just seems so....

I don't know.

Why did I feel the need to write this down?
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No arts yet...

2 min read
Well here we are, some time after the original journal entry. And where am I?

I've done a few new drawings. I've messed around with mechanical pencils and graphite pencils. I've tried using my thumb to shade. I've thought about buying water colors to play around with, but haven't yet. I've thought about opening Photoshop and playing around with that, but haven't yet.

AND I've tried hooking up my scanner to my computer this morning! Sadly, there's something wrong with it; since I don't have any yellow ink left, it won't let me do anything. (It's a scanner/printer/copier/fax.) So no arts for you yet...

But I'm working on it actively! (and by "actively" I mean as half-heartedly as possible.) I really should put more effort into things.

But look! I wrote a little fanfiction! Yes, yes, I know; the name of the site is deviantART, not deviantFICTION. But oh well. It's a really good little piece of writing. Go see!
(I don't like putting down work that I think is good enough to post on the internet, so no humble self bashing for me.)

To add to my list of drawings that are finished but need to be scanned:

- a Naruto fan"comic".
- a sketch of my friend Dave's RPG character, Hanjo.
- two guys kissing! (yes, I decided to put it up. ^_^)
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I'm learning how to draw through trial and error. I mainly want to learn because I want to be able to one day sketch my RPG character and do good sketches for the rest of my D&D group. I currently only have a pencil and paper to work with, and don't have any idea how to use Photo shop. Does anyone know a site with a tutorial on how to color a line art with PS?

I DO have a few sketches that are pretty bad, but that I'm enormously happy with! I just need to get our printer/scanner plugged in one of these days and scan them.
Of course when my brain wants something done and sends the message to my body, you have to allow 4 to 6 weeks for delivery of the message and then your not even sure anybody will be there to sign for it so...

Yeah.

Yes, there are mostly yaoi drawings in my favorites. They are like sex for my eyes, I lurv them. (MARY: if you're reading this, sorry If I totally ruined your innocence with some of those.)

Favorite Pairings:
Red/Purple - Invader Zim
Dr. Cox/JD - Scrubs
Kakashi/Sasuke - Naruto
Gaara/anybody! - Naruto
Jim/Blair - Sentinel
Kirk/Spock - Star Trek
Frodo/Sam - LOTR
Harry/Snape - Harry Potter

I don't usually like het pairings, since I find het romance in tv shows and movies rather boring to begin with.

I will also fav NON yaoi/slash stuff, If it's particularly funny or well drawn. I'm not completely corrupted you know. ^_^
That's all for now.
I'll update again when I actually scan one of the drawings I did.

COMING SOON!:
- A comic about walmart!
- Two guys kissing! (*gasp*) Actually, maybe not that one. That one's private. *blush*

So yeah I guess.. just a comic about walmart then. Heh....
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